December 2011
14 posts
7 tags
Shackled in Palm Springs, CA
I’ve been in Palm Springs, CA, with the most absurd combination of saints and assholes. Of course, everyone’s family drama is a long and sordid story that is not worth explaining in finite detail, as we both have other things to do, like watch My Cousin Vinny in the Phoenix airport. The long and the short of it is that my aunt has an uber rich fuckwit of a boyfriend who has paid...
Dec 30th
5 notes
2 tags
Dec 30th
3 tags
Dec 24th
3 notes
6 tags
I can't feel my legs
It’s the last day before my SIX DAY VACATION. I’m beyond thrilled. Christmas time is the busiest time of year for strippers. All of the suits come out to play, Benjamins bring my wallet to burst at the seams and cocaine falls from the sky. Oh, wait, it’s not the eighties anymore. The next Depression is imminent. Strippers will be the first to tell you. My suits, that...
Dec 23rd
10 notes
3 tags
Dec 19th
6 notes
9 tags
STRIPPER WISH LIST
Do you know a stripper? If you’re reading this, you probably do. Do you need to buy her something special for the Christmakwanzakkah season and this bitch buys everything she wants the second she realizes that she wants it and it seems as though there is nothing left to get her? I got some tips, y’all: A Massage. Or if you want in on some sensual fun, too, then a couples’...
Dec 16th
2 notes
5 tags
PIMP WANTS A TAX BREAK
“Strip Club Argues That Lap Dancing Is Art, Wants Tax Exemption” The Gothamist has recently reported that our pimps don’t want to pay such high taxes. I have a lot of feelings about this. First, I don’t know any strippers who DO pay their taxes. (Actually, that’s not true: I know one.) This point is kind of irrelevant, as the article doesn’t have anything...
Dec 13th
3 notes
5 tags
Dec 12th
32 notes
7 tags
VIOLETS IN THE HOOD
You  know you’re a strippophile when you go to a strip club on your night off. Last night I was accompanied by my darling friend and newfangled stripper enthusiast, Ronnie, to a wine bar. We decided that the tannins and its so-called ‘legs’ we boring so we went to see some real legs, investigating how much tastier they can truly be as they ripen with age. We went here: ...
Dec 11th
3 notes
5 tags
Dec 9th
27 notes
6 tags
SEASON'S GREETINGS!
Dec 7th
3 notes
5 tags
Dec 6th
1 note
Dec 3rd
1,995 notes
5 tags
Dec 2nd
9 notes